Really Brain, We're Going To Do THIS Now

It's been a while since I've done a total brain dump so I'm going to do one now. What's a brain dump? A term I just came up with to describe the random stream of consciousness inner musing thing I do every now and then because I think my brain is so strange and my life so random. Anyway, brain dump... [cue theme music and title sequence].

Random Sticky Note
I have a random sticky note on my desktop. On it, it says, "Flash drive is a representation of my life." I wrote that about a week ago or something, I really don't know. Anyway, now I'm trying to remember why the flash drive represents my life. It was probably because things get added to it, taken out, and, when I don't keep track of how often I've used it, probably has a lot of random stuff on it that I forgot existed. Yeah that sums everything up. It gets used and guarded and for a while, the only goal is to not lose it. I live and try to not die (I'll get to that at some point) and for a moment, everything is more or less in order and I try not to loose my marbles or something. I lose it, or leave it somewhere and look at it everyday but still forget that it exists. My life falls apart (happens semi-often), or I loose my hold on reality and the plane of existence and only go through the motions of life. It's small and easy to forget about (old memory from my past that I don't like to dredge up). It's contents change but the outside stays the same. Okay, so I don't look the same but the basic concept is there, I grow, I change, I have character traits that are very different from the ones I had when I was younger. The flash drive is a representation of my life... I like it.

Seriously Brain, Why?!?!
In my Lit class, we are reading Arcadia. So after day one of reading about carnal embrace and the running gag that followed, I walked into class with my inner self really wanting to make a "That's what she said" joke. Skip to the end of the day, I'm in 7th period and my teacher has a couple of the guys go get some butcher paper.

Guy 1: What color paper do you want?
Teacher: I would prefer white, but really something I can write on.
My Brain: That's what she said.
Me: Why brain, why?

Stop It Brain, You KNOW This
Another thing my brain has been doing is registering things strangely. Like I know, my teacher was wearing a navy shirt, but my brain was registering it as purple. Like legit, I say to myself, "That shirt is navy" and in my mind would say "That shirt is purple." And then a friend of mind takes Spanish and I know she takes Spanish. That's all she's taken since freshman year. And my brain was like, "She just came from Chinese class." My brain is strange and I'm pretty sure I'm going mad. It's irritating to look at something and have to process for a moment what the heck it is. I just looked at my camera, my partner in crime, my one true love (too far? Too bad *sticks out tounge*) and was like, "You are red... You're a Nikon... I gave you a name... Ooo pineapple juice, wait that can is empty... Oh! You're name is RoA... Wait, that's right but wrong... Ages, Rock of Ages." And then I turned to my beautiful film camera and was like, "I think you're Ted. No Ted is my favorite chart. You're Colonel. Not that's not right. General? No... Major, like Major General Sir. Right..." I'm loosing myself right? Maybe not... Who knows. I don't, and my brain sure doesn't. I would say stranger things have happened, but I can't think of any examples.

Lines Of Dialogue, But No Plot
I'm a creator. I create things. Whether or not those things come to physical form in the real world is another mater. I see a blank room and I think about the different ways I could paint and design it. I visualize photo shoots that I would run if I had the money or contacts. I come up with creatures and beings that I would love to be able to draw and give life to. I write to share what's in my head. The characters I create and take time to give a past to mean so much to me. In my head, there is a section dedicated to them, like a large room really (like the room of requirement in Harry Potter) where I can mentally check on them and see what they are doing at the moment and can listen to them and converse with them sometime (I usually keep my original characters separated from the characters I'm attached too from various fandoms- Bryan Caplan and Tony Stark must never meet... Same with Conrad Heist and Anthony DiNozzo... Don't get me started on the disaster that would be Loki and Ryan Colbert [daddy issues to the max and Ryan is impressionable right now]). Anyway, lately I've had only a few ideas on how to move my plot lines forward. What I have in surplus are various dialogues that don't really fit with anything, and it's not dialogues that are feel good fluff pieces either. I'm getting snippets of pure sarcasm and internal monologues that aren't mine. I'm getting words that mean nothing to me (it's my brain's way of trying to speak Latin, that much I know). I'm getting supernatural beings that I'm slowly creating. I'm getting images of groups in cloaks paired with gothic instrumentals. It's strange. My brain gets like this every so often when I get stressed with the world and such. It's been a while. The last time it happened I created my own "universe" (our world, my terms) and two casts of characters with a connection between two, one from each cast (Neil Heist and Conrad Heist, brothers). I really don't want to end up with another acronym obsessed character Bryan Caplan is hard enough to deal with (once I've taken the time to give them a personality I don't have control over what they do). So for now, I'll probably just jot down ideas, write lines of random dialogue, and maybe even do some character creation. I'll probably also take a few back to the drawing board and either rework them (if they go willingly that's a sign I'm doing the right thing) or add to their pasts and personality (that can be fun, but sometimes painful because reasons).

So that's my brain dump. I'm probably slowly loosing myself or something but that's okay I always find myself again in the end. So for now, Sanders out.

Today In My Head

Ok... I had some pretty interesting (maybe strange) things in my head today as I did my eClass work. Where to start... How about...

Men's fragrance
I'm not much of a fan of women's perfume fragrance whatever you want to call that little bottle of death. Sure, I love apple scented things, just apple not apple cinnamon, just apple. I also tolerate flower scents to a degree. Anything with coconut can go back to where it came from. But the one thing that never fails to draw every molecule every fiber of my being to it, is a decent men's fragrance. Right now, I literally have a sample of Paco Rabanne Invictus in front of me from the Dillard's Scents for Men flyer. While it isn't something enough to draw me in like things tend to in a store, it's something enough to get me to sit here sniffing it as I type and leave me wanting more. Now, I don't know if that's the point of men's fragrance, it most likely is, but I'm a fairly scent oriented person so I could be here for awhile sniffing this paper. (Note: I just ran around the house for about five minutes looking for inserts in magazines for Men's scents... I found Jimmy Choo Man but I already have it in front of my laptop with the other). In addition to Invictus, I have a sample of Jimmy Choo Man, and it's alright. Not something that would stop me in my tracks if it was a department store. I'm looking at the back of the Dillard's thing and I see an ad for Armani's new fragrance... Kinda want to go to Dillard's now and smell it. Back to Invicus and Choo Man, for the moment, Invictus is what's occupying my attention. I put the two scents together and while it was interesting for like two seconds I got bored of it so I went back to just Invicus. Which is weird, you would think it would be more interesting if there were two together but no. I sniffed the sample of Jimmy Choo Illicit for women and I don't like it. It can go curl up in a hole with the coconut scents. I might as well go a little deeper into my scent orientation. I figured out I was drawn in by smells around my sophomore year. I had my first serious boyfriend then, I had had a boyfriend before and while it was slightly serious it wasn't like serious. Anyway, he wore some kind of scent and I still remember the scent, a little, I can't name it and I wish I could but I do remember it. (My favorite teacher wears something similar, I think). At one point, I remember texting my best friend that I was sitting on my bed sniffing my shirt because it had his scent on it. I liked the scent okay! So that's most likely where it started, and I haven't gone back. I've gotten better at figuring out which fruit to get and what's fresh. Fresh pineapples have the best fresh fruit scent. The down side is that I notice if my teachers are wearing anything if they are right next to me. If it's something I like, I have to root myself to not get closer to catch another whiff. I know I'm weird, but whatever, I'm me and stranger things have happened.

Follow up note: I just found a sample of the Armani scent and it's amazing. It's a stop me in my tracks and let me smell you for the next hour scent. I love it! If I could afford it, I'd by a bottle. Well, I probably can afford it, though something tells me that my parents wouldn't like it if I spent $62 on a bottle of men's fragrance.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
I can do anything better than you. No you can't. Yes I can. No you can't. Yes I can. No you can't. Yes I can. Yes I can.

Annie Get Your Gun, I want to see it now. I've heard the song before, and it's now one of my favorite songs. My obsession with this song started when I read a fanfic for Hollywood U (it's a mobile game). I was searching for a Hunt/MC pairing and I came across this fic and as luck would have it, that song was what the whole thing was centered around. So yeah, it's my new obsession. Love the song, it's great,

Reminiscing About An Ex
Not much to say except that it's annoying. I see his stupid face lit up on my gmail chat thing and I think back to when we were together and how nice it was before issue A and then issue B happened. He's got a new profile pic and he looks good, like college student good so I don't know. It's not fun to reminisce about this particular ex. But one day I won't think back to him as often and hopefully it won't be such a pain, or as painful as it is now.

Evita
I love this broadway show. It's by Andrew Lloyd Webber and it's amazing!!! I love it! I saw it on broadway and the soundtrack is phenomenal. I love Evita. I've listened to it all the way through like twice in three days. Come to think of it... I've listened to a couple of Webber's shows all the way through within the last few days... Evita, Phantom of the Opera, Love Never Dies... Yup, all Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Love Never Dies

YESSSS!!!! It's finally happening! Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom of the Opera is FINALLY going on tour in the US!!! It's on tour right now in... Havana or something with an H. Anyway, I've been waiting for a looong time for this to happen. I saw the movie version, the recording of the Australian version, of Love Never Dies and loved it! The music... Oh the music!!! It's amazing!!! Sooo excited!!! The only thing is... Webber has said he might change the ending... I hope he doesn't because the ending, though heart wrenching, is fine the way it is.

That's all for now. Might have something to say tomorrow. Or not. Not sure really... So for now, Sanders out.

Again With My Life

More like my brain really.

It's an eClass day. I don't like eClass days. The entire interwebs at my finger tips for a whole day is hard to resist. I'm still working even now, but I'm taking a break at the moment. Anyway, random thoughts that came into my mind.

I really want to write something, whether it's working on one of my many projects (really want to work on that one ship) or starting something new (I have a whole list of prompts I can't wait to sink my teeth into), I really want to write.

My 3D modeling teacher is getting a book for this eClass assignment. He's got us watching a few Pixar shorts then choosing two to compare and answer questions about. My inner future lit major is coming out so at the moment I've pretty much written him a short essay for each question.

I really wish I could find something to rant about, but nothing has happened that is worth ranting about. Maybe that's worth ranting about... No, this is about as far as a rant about nothing to rant about would go. But wait, it's a short rant, but it is a rant. So I've ranted about having nothing to rant about. Wait, objection! If I've managed a short rant then clearly I have something to rant about so that something is about having nothing to rant about therefor that nothing is something! HA! Nothing must be something! Philosophy!!! Ok short rant over.

For some reason at some point this afternoon, the thought, "He's dead. Oh my gosh, he's dead." ran through my mind. Not sure why. I really wish I knew why, but that's what ran though my mind.

I had a random quote from somewhere that was plaguing my mind. One of those moments where you can't relax until you figure out where it came from. The quote was, "something something. In another lifetime." I thought it was "in another chance. In another lifetime" and was from a book. I just found it and it was from my favorite Oliver Wood fan fic, Green Ink. The quote was actually. "In another world." "In another lifetime." and was referring to the fact that if the main character weren't rivals, then perhaps they would have been friends (honestly though, they're friends whether they like it, or realize it, or not). Still it's a nice quote that I might have to do something with myself. I had imagined it going with some book that would be dystopian or post-apocalyptic. But it was a pleasant surprise that it was one of my favorite fics.

That's it for my inner musings for now. Might have some more tomorrow. Who knows. So for now, Sanders out.